


Separate and Reunite

by Meiilan



Series: OTP: Chantry Boyfriends - drabbles for Cullen/Sebastian Vael [4]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, rated mature for a brief handjob at the end of the story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-27
Updated: 2016-08-27
Packaged: 2018-08-11 06:54:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7880872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meiilan/pseuds/Meiilan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story is inspired by this piece of art: http://soulmarshal.tumblr.com/post/149275863921/separate-reunite. Sebastian and Cullen have to part ways after what happened in Kirkwall. What will happen, if they meet again many years later?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Separate and Reunite

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Farewell](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Farewell/gifts).



> I'm really glad, how this story turned out, moreso even since it's the first finished story, I've written in month. I might slowly come out of my slump again. I let one of my personal headcanons bleed into this piece, about Sebastian being gray-asexual and enjoy giving intimate pleasure to his partner, but does not want it reciprocated. I hope you like the way I've written him here.

The battle at the Gallows was over and everybody was trying to pick up the pieces left of their life. Most of Hawke’s group had left Kirkwall a few days ago. Sebastian had remained. As the only cleric having survived the explosion of the chantry, it fell on him to oversee the burial rites for the deceased and sing the Chant for the mourning. Eventually however it was time for him to leave as well. There was almost nothing left in Kirkwall, that would make it worth for the archer to stay. _Almost._

The morning, he would leave the town and get on the road towards Starkhaven found the former brother on a ferry to the Gallows. There was someone he needed to see one last time. Cullen was standing in the courtyard, talking with some tired recruits. The man had worked tirelessly in the aftermath of Meredith’s death to rebuilt the order and - more importantly - it’s morals. There were dark circles under his eyes and his usually clean-shaven face showed an awful lot of scruff. Maker, when was the last time this man had properly slept. When the newly assigned Knight-Commander saw the archer approaching he quickly dismissed  the recruit, he was talking to and turned to meet Sebastian halfway. His eyes fell on the bag, Sebastian carried and his expression darkened.

“So you decided to go, after all.”

It hurt. Maker, it hurt hearing Cullen’s voice being so distant, polite. Sebastian knew why that was, he knew Cullen held himself back to not show how disappointed he was, how hurt he felt for being abandoned like that.

“I have to! My cousin Goran has only a weak hold on the throne at best and now that news of Kirkwall spread through the Marches, the people there expect him to take a stand, to make decisions, he is not capable of. If this goes on, Starkhaven might be the next town falling into war. I cannot risk my people’s life like that.”

“Your people. Of course.”  
“Cullen, please!”

Dropping his back, Sebastian reached out for the templar. He did not care for where they were, or who was watching them. It didn’t matter anymore. Not right now, when Cullen was so obviously hurting, when all Sebastian wanted to do, was to draw him in and hold him tight. Instead he gently cradled the man’s face and forced him to look into Sebastian’s eyes.

“Cullen”, he said, his voice firm despite the fact that he wanted to cry right now, “Please believe me. If things weren’t the way, they are, there would be nothing that could pull me from your side. I-”

“I know.”  
“Nay! Listen tae me!”

In his desperation, his accent began to bleed into his words again. Grabbing Cullen’s face tighter, Sebastian took a step closer, deliberately invading the templar’s personal space, forcing - no begging - him to focus entirely in Sebastian.

“I luv ye, Cullen. An’ whatever happens from here on, willnae change ‘at. But this is about so much more than ye an’ I. We both have our responsibilities. We both have to live for more people than just us, right now. Our people, they have to be our first priority. Ye know that and ye know that I cannae put ye above them.”

Cullen sighed. The sound pierced through Sebastian’s heart like one of his own arrows. Reaching up, the templar took one of Sebastian’s hands in his own, turned and placed a tender kiss to the gloved palm.

“I know. And I don’t think, I would love you so much, if you would.”  
Sebastian felt his resolve waver. Everything inside him screamed to stay, to not lose this last haven of happiness he had left in this town. But he knew, he couldn’t.

“I’ll write ye. As soon, as I’m back in Starkhaven, I’ll write ye. Expect mah letters!”  
“I will. Farewell Sebastian.”  
Leaning forward, Sebastian placed a chaste kiss to the corner of Cullen’s lips, before he whispered: “I willnae say ‘farewell’, fur I will come back to ye.”  
The look in Cullen’s eyes told him, that he wanted to believe those words… but couldn’t.

* * *

Years have passed since then and Sebastian has long since become Prince of Starkhaven. He got answers from Cullen to his first two letters. Then nothing. But he still kept on writing him, wrote about his coronation, about how suddenly every noble tried to hook him up with their daughters and sisters, how he eventually adopted a little girl to answer the questions for a heir. He did not write about, how he just couldn’t marry any woman, even for the sake of his responsibilities, because it felt not right, when Cullen was still the only man he loved.

It wasn’t until later, when the first news of the Inquisition began to reach Starkhaven, that Sebastian learned just why his letters remained unanswered: They just never reached their destination, for Cullen had long since left Kirkwall.

Eventually Sebastian reached out to the Inquisitor, politely asked for their aid in supporting Kirkwall’s restoration efforts. He had secretly hoped, Cullen would answer his request, but instead he got a formal letter from a Lady Montilyet, promising him financial and political support.

Then more and more frightening stories of dangerous battles against demons and dragons reached Starkhaven and eventually the Prince of Starkhaven couldn’t sit still anymore. The urge to see Cullen, to assure himself, he was alright, to touch him and hold him, it all became overwhelming, almost suffocating him. He used the next best excuse - negotiations about the amount of relief supplies to be sent to Kirkwall - to visit Skyhold himself.

He did not tell them, that he was coming, only that a negotiator was to be sent. He did not know, why he thought it so important, but he did not want for Cullen to know he was on his way. When he arrived and was led to the war room by a very distressed Lady Montilyet, he suddenly knew why. The moment He was introduced to the other people in the room, his eyes fell on Cullen and he was met with such a pure and unguarded expression of surprise, it took him all his self-restraint not to round the table and pull the Commander into his arms.

Maker, but he still loved that man so much!

The actual negotiations went by like a dream and eventually Lady Montilyet announced, that she would find a room for their noble guest to retire to.

“I can do that!”

“Commander? But you-”  
“I’ve got nothing else to do anyway and you still have copy the transcript of this meeting, right? It’s fine by me, really!”  
“Very well then. If his Highness doesn’t m-”  
“I don’t!... I mean, I dinnae wish to put any unnecessary strain on ye, Mylady. So th’ Commander’s offer is very welcomed.”  
“...As you wish, your Highness.”

They did not talk after that. Not on the way to the quartermaster, where Cullen inquired about the available guest rooms, and not on the way to the room that had been chosen for him. They did not even look at each other. Well no. Cullen didn’t. He walked in front, leading the prince through Skyhold, his head not turning back even once. Sebastian however constantly stared at the back of Cullen’s head, while he wrecked his mind to find a topic to talk about.  
_I wrote you letters, but you didn’t get them, right?_  
_I’m still unmarried, you know?_  
_I adopted a daughter?_  
_How have you been?_ _  
_ …

_Do you still love me as much, as I love you?_

Eventually they reached the room assigned to Sebastian. Cullen unlocked the door, stepped in and then aside for Sebastian to enter. The prince hesitated, did not want to end what little time they had together already, but he knew he had no choice. So he walked past Cullen and into the room. When he heard the door close behind him, his heart sunk. So this was it. He was just a visiting dignitary now. Nothing else. _Nothing more._

A gauntleted hand landed heavily on his shoulder and turned Sebastian with such force, that the prince almost lost his footing. But there were strong arms to catch him, hold him up, until he could stand on his own again. A pair of big hands slid around Sebastian’s waist to rest on the small of his back.

“I missed you.”  
Hearing Cullen’s voice like this shook Sebastian to his bones. He wanted to look up, wanted to tell Cullen that he had missed him too, but he couldn’t. He just couldn’t move. Wide blue eyes stared at the chest plate in front of him, his hands helplessly grasping at the red overcoat, Cullen wore. His chest hurt and his throat was choking with the emotions welling up in him.

“Sebastian?”  
Cullen’s voice was laced with worry and when he started to pull back, Sebastian’s mind blanked with panic. _No! Don’t go! Stay with me!_

Holding tight onto Cullen’s coat, Sebastian turned his head up and instinctively pressed his lips to Cullen’s. He could see the look of surprise in the Commander’s eyes. A second passed and Sebastian began to doubt his decision. But when he wanted to pull back this time, it was Cullen who wouldn’t let him. The grip around the prince’s waist tightened and the Commander closed his eyes as he tilted his head to slot their lips together properly. The sigh of relieve, that left Sebastian’s lips was swallowed by Cullen who readily opened his own for it.

Sebastian could hear birds chirping in front of the window. He could faintly hear the rustling of people walking up and down the hallway outside his door. He felt a faint pain in his neck growing stronger, as he kept craning it upwards towards Cullen. All that he registered in that brief moment, where his mind was hopelessly overwhelmed with emotions. Then he finally caught up to the situation and fervently kissed Cullen back. The Commander obviously was surprised by this amount of passion - no wonder, up until this point, the most intimate of touches they had shared was that one kiss goodbye, so many years ago. There was a noise of surprise, followed by a moan as Sebastian deepened the kiss. Walking blindly, the prince pulled Cullen towards the bed. Stumbling backwards on to the mattress, Sebastian vaguely registered how the regal circlet, he had worn for the occasion fell to the ground with a loud clang. But any thought on it, was wiped away by the heavy weight of Cullen on top of him. The Commander braced himself on his arms, to not crush the archer under the weight of his own armor. Armor that quickly found its way to the ground as well, followed by jackets and shirts until _finally_ skin touched skin and the men eagerly explored each others naked upper bodies with their hands.

For a while the only sounds in the room where soft sighs and moans, interrupted by brief moments of busy silence, when one of them moved in for another kiss. Sebastian was content with that. He could have done this all afternoon, easily forgetting all the world in this very moment, making Cullen above him the sole center of his consciousness. Then Cullen’s hand went further down, slipped past the hem of his breeches and-

“Wait!”

Sebastian had reacted on instinct, his hand shot forward, stopping Cullen, before he could reach further. Cullen looked confused. Until now everything was fine, why did Sebastian stop him. There was no reason to hold back anymore. They were not templar and brother anymore, they did not have to walk on eggshells to not invoke Elthina’s or Meridith’s wrath. Sebastian could see, that the commander struggled hard to make sense of his behavior and he already regretted it.

“Why? Your vows-”  
“Are not th’ reason.”  
“Then what is it?”  
Sebastian sighed. This was difficult to answer and he almost wished, he had not stopped Cullen, had just let him have his way.

“Mah vows have nothing to do with this. But… Ah was content, when Ah could just cite them.”  
“What do you mean. I don’t-”  
“I just don’t want this.”  
Cullen’s face fell and Sebastian just _knew_ he took it the wrong way.  
“I dinna mean you, Cullen! I mean… _this_ . I-... before the Chantry I lead a different life. One I’m not very proud of. Back then this-... _sex_ meant something different. Eet meant attention, eet meant conquest eet meant all the wrong things and I really cannae think of eet any different now. But I liked what we had back then. I really enjoyed th’ way ye treated me. I just-... I dinna want to-...”  
“Then we won’t.”  
Cullen’s voice was calm and as Sebastian looked up, he was met with a smile so warm and gentle it made Sebastian’s innermost core melt like butter in the sun. The commander gently brushed the back of his hand along Sebastian’s cheeks, as he continued: “I will not do anything, you don’t want. I am just glad to have you back.”  
Whatever else Cullen wanted to say was cut short, when Sebastian reached up with both arms to pull him down for a passionate kiss. Using his well-trained dexterity, the rogue turned them around, straddling Cullen’s lap, as he threw the commander on his back. Sitting up, the prince grinned at him seductively.

“I dinna say, _we_ shouldnae do eet. I just said, that _I_ dinna want eet done to me. I certainly dinna mind doin’ eet.”  
And with that, Sebastian slid further down on Cullen’s legs, hooking his fingers into the hem of Cullen’s breeches and pulling them down along with his underpants. Before the commander registered what was happening, Sebastian had already bowed down to kiss him passionately once more.

The prince eagerly swallowed Cullen’s aroused groan as he wrapped his hands around the man’s erection and began to expertly jerk him off. It was true what he had said, he really didn’t mind doing this for Cullen. Especially since the man was making all these delicious sounds to reward him for his efforts. Feeling the commander’s strong hands helplessly holding onto his thighs, fingers digging in hard to ground himself, while his arousal slowly rolled towards its peak, this all was very pleasant to Sebastian. It was like a nonverbal ‘well-done’, a reward, a proof that Cullen realized just how much he appreciated the man, how deeply he loved him.

Watching Cullen come totally undone under his ministration was probably the most beautiful sight, the Maker has ever granted him with.

“Sebastian, I-... like this-... I’m almost-!”  
The urgency in Cullen’s voice was like a badge of honor. This was his doing. Cullen was letting go, because it was Sebastian, who did this to him. Then Cullen threw an arm over his blushing face and with a deep groan he came all over his stomach and Sebastian’s hands. The prince didn’t even have time to wipe his hands somewhere, before Cullen pulled him down and to his side, turning to hold the prince close against his chest. For a moment, neither said a word, both revelling in Cullen’s afterglow. Eventually a hesitant hand slid along Sebastian’s waist and over his hipbone.  
“You sure, you don’t want me to-”  
“I’d rather not, nay… But I woulds very much like to be held like this a wee bit longer.”

Cullen immediately pulled Sebastian closer, as if on command. The prince knew, he was trying to make sense of his words now. He figured it was difficult, it had been difficult for himself after all; to realize that he really did not want sex, but still enjoyed seeing his partner in the throws of passion. It was not something, you read in the books about. It was just too unusual, but Sebastian had come to terms with it and he silently, breathlessly waited for Cullen to do the same.

“Will it always be like this? I mean you-... me-... I mean, like just now.”  
“If ye let me.”  
“And you really don’t want-?”  
“Yes.”  
“So, this is what you want?”  
“Yes.”  
Cullen fell silent once more, and Sebastian was left to wait with baited breath again. This was borderlining on being unnerving. But the commander’s big hand kept stroking up and down Sebastian’s spine, soothing his nerves, while he took his time to digest the information.

“What do _you_ need?”  
“Cullen, I-”  
“No, wait. Hear me out, please.” I understand you don’t want sex and that is fine by me, really! I just-... I feel a little guilty, if I get this and you get nothing out of it. So, tell me what you need. So I can make sure to give you all of it. You deserve no less!”  
Sebastian felt his chest tighten once more. There they were again, the overwhelming feelings. Cullen just always did this to him, made him feel worthy, _treasured_. From all the people, the prince had known throughout his life, Cullen was the only one, who so naturally made him feel loved and appreciated. Sebastian felt tears well up in his eyes.

“This”, he said, voice strained with feelings, “This is what I need, Cullen. Ye and me, like this. I need to see ye, when ye come and know eet is me, ‘at’s makin’ ye feel good. I need to be held by ye like this. I need to knew ‘at ye still luv me as much as I-”  
Sebastian was interrupted by Cullen’s hand gently tilting him up by his chin. Smiling gently at the archer, Cullen pressed a chaste, yet firm kiss to his lips.  
“Always”, he said, “Maker by my witness, but I will always love you.”  
The kiss that followed tasted salty, spiced with Sebastian’s tears of joy, but neither of them could get enough of it, eager to keep tasting it. _Always_.


End file.
